I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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