I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
