Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
