doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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