Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
