I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
there is glitter all over my balls
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize