I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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