how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Randomize
