Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
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