But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
