OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
