I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
