YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
lol hangovers are for mortals.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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