Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
