Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
