they need to just BURY HIM!
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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