Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
