So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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