??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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