I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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