marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
