S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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