she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
