we made out on top of his cat.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
is it fun? or sober?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Randomize
