every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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