I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
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I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
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Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
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