He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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