Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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