If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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