Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
