Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
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We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
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Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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