Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
