Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
