This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
