Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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