i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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