its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Just puked most of my soul out..
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
