There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Randomize
