I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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