we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
