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Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
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