His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
