should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
