I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Randomize
