I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
