i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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