My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Randomize