Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
