If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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