I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
