it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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