Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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