I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
