Fine. I'll sleep in my office
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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