do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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