i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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