that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
