I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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