it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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