Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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