meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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