I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
