Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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