My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
