how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
