In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
