I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
